Be Cool

To be cool look up and to the right.

To be cool smile but not with teeth.

To be cool carry a cool book like one about anarchists or entrepreneurs.

To be cool wear headphones.

To be cool roll the bottom of your jeans to show your ankles.

Ankles are cool.
To be cool write in all lowercase don’t use periods.

Periods are not cool.

To be cool smoke always smoke.

To be cool hold the cigarette between second and third finger not first and second.

Definitely do not hold it between finger and thumb.

That is not cool.

To be cool make a cool face like this.

No like this.

Even if you eat a hot pepper or hit your head on the cabinet.

To be cool never wear a bike helmet.

To be cool definitely always drink.

Drink a lot make sure to get drunk.

Throw up.

Not in the bar—in the alley out back.

To be cool fuck the guy your friend was trying to fuck.

To be cool practice raising one eyebrow until you can do it perfect.

To be cool you should take all the drugs.

(Except pot.

Pot is not cool.)

To be cool take all the drugs.

Do it at work to show you don’t give a fuck.

To be cool let your outside dissolve.

To be cool fall apart let your insides pour outside of you.

To be cool your knees should shake and your vision should be blurry.

To be cool drink canned coffee and orange juice in the bathroom.

To be cool make sure to shoot something up.

Shooting something up is extremely cool.

To be cool don’t talk about your girlfriend.

Have a girlfriend but don’t talk about her.

To be cool don’t have a baby.

Babies are not cool.

To be cool be still.

To be cool sit still and don’t move at all.

To be cool stay home.

To be cool stare at one spot on the wall.
To be cool stare at it not hard but with intent.

To be cool stand on one leg
Like a heron gazing to the depths of a cold blue lake.